Wednesday, January 4, 2017

New Year. Fresh Resolve!

I have been stable for almost 28 months!  I am very fortunate to have come this far and I intend to keep fighting and remain strong. Thank you for all of your continued love and prayers and positive vibes. Positive energy is something very important to keeping the stress levels down, and healing energy up.

Of course, it is a lot of work to try and stay fit and healthy otherwise. I work out as much on my own as I can, but I could be doing better than once or twice a week.  My ketogenic diet, and the difficulty of measuring each ingredient to the tenth of a gram, makes it easy to fall into a food rut. Eating the same foods every day is surely not getting me a variety of nutrional foods, but so far I've selected the meals that are easy to make and good for grab-and-go. This year I charge myself with making some new recipes to get me eating a variety of cancer-fighting foods that also have few ingredients, and are easy to make in batches. Thank you, Jenna for cooking all of my soups.  I couldn't do this without you!

As all of you know from Randy's posts, we may have come to a crossroads. Whether to stay on or get off of the Novocure/Optune device for a brief while to let the burns and blisters heal, and then resume treatment once my scalp has healed. This healing process could take 2-6 weeks; we just don't know. The wound care specialists don't even have a clue as to how long it might take to heal the very fragile skin on my scalp. My particular cancer can double in size in two weeks' time, so I'm not a fan of going off of the device.  No matter how painful these scalp wounds can be, I vote to stay the course unless the wounds worsen. Then, I will have no choice but to take a break.  I'd rather bite down hard against the pain, bide my time, and wait for one of the clinicals to prove out to be a real cure.  I think that science is developing a better understanding of all cancers, including GBM, at the genetic level.  Hopefully, I can remain stable long enough for one of the ongoing trials to prove effective.

Last year, I wrote that I was going to post more here. Well, that didn't exactly happen, but it does not mean I haven't been writing.  In fact, I went back to writing poetry again.  It taxes my brain, and yet exercises it too. It takes me longer to complete a poem these days, through the fog of radiation, and haze of medications. Here is one that I believe to be completed.  I don't know who said this, but it is true:  "It takes two people to make a piece of art. One to make the art; the other to hit the artist over the head to make him/her realize that it is finished."


As the storm cloud rises, so do the ravens.
From the valley floor they come;
they surf the air, like great waves,
swinging wing to tail, making crazy 8s in the sky.
They are black chaos.
Their cacophony fills the gloaming
with some impending magic.

The first fat splats of rain hit the ground.
The ravens settle on rooftops, in treetops,
on fence posts, on lamp posts,
and they are silent.
Then suddenly, and without a sound,
they scatter and are gone.

But here, in the mystical minds of men
our superstitions are stirring
and we are silent.
We hold our bated breaths
and are waiting...